Cokoceenaima

Surprise

2009-05-13T23:28:00.002+08:00

I still cannot believe it is happening...
It happened so quickly and without notice...
But it is real...
It is done...

I am...going to MELBOURNE

Thanks Kor and Cheh!!!!!
I am coming!!!...in erm...another 10months...+.+

Mother's day special

2009-05-10T23:45:00.010+08:00

Mimi say she likes Japanese food wor...
Fine...so here's my very first attempt on sushi making...
Here's goes nothing...

Spent RM67 on rice, vinegar, unagi, fish eggs, jelly fish and japanese cucumber.
Jayson asked y not just bring her out for Sushi King...
=_= no wonder he HARDLY cook for me.

EGG!! without any seasoning and oil.
Healthy healthy

Slice'em all while waiting for the rice to cook

Pour vinegar (with sugar and salt) into the rice

Roll'em up!!

I know...very ugly.

But this looks GOOD!!

She never really once said my food was bad...

This time she hugged and kissed me, hehe

Of coz, she said its NICE!!

Well i tot it was ok, the rice was a lil too sour.

She so cute ^^

Btw, she's out of medication ady.

Pray that within these 2 years she wont get infected again.

Love you mum, Happie mother's day!

negative energy

2009-04-28T23:49:00.003+08:00

so i admit i was complaining too much today
and i know i have consciously/unconsciously produced alot of "negative force"

i also admit tht i was jealous
very jealous and disappointed

it is just a freaking orientation
something that we have 3 times a year...nothing new.
but y so special this time?
only God knows

they have
perfect sound system
perfect lighting
perfect corperation from top to bottom
perfect decoration
perfect food
i dont even want to think how much all these will sum up to

again
its just a freaking orientation...y this time SO SPECIAL?
y so much fuss?
y all of the sudden UCSI can come up with so much money when we students have to literally BEG for financial support and get NOTHING in return for events that at the end of the day UCSI will take the ultimate glory?!
its not fair

being in this position
its tiring
its eating me...us up
the only thing that i can look back and smile is the people that have worked extra hard to make things happen
you guys rock
im nothing without u all...

5 stars

2009-04-11T19:07:00.002+08:00

Just a few days ago, mum told me (again) that God will end this world with heat

The impact was not that great until i watched this movie

Like i said before, its always good not to do any research before watching the movie

The surprise is much more impactful
Seriously, watch it, it will blow you away

When you look deeper into the tiny details in the movie, it does carry certain message

why was the kid deaf? why was Nicholas Cage's father a priest and himself a scientist?

Can you see it?

Janson Ong

2009-04-07T21:11:00.000+08:00

my new handsome boy ^^

Dream came true

2009-03-27T11:28:00.000+08:00

Jogoya

so what?

too good for me?

2009-03-14T14:16:00.003+08:00

Is it common that
girls always think that good boys are too good for them
or rather
too good to be true
that is why good men are still single
and girls are stuck with the bad ones

梦

2008-12-04T11:33:00.003+08:00

今早发了一个梦，一个好累人，好紧张的梦。
我梦见你有另一个女朋友。
你走在我们俩的中间，虽然你抱的，拖的都是我，但事实是你身边不只我一个了。
你不紧张，还一副理所当然的样子。
后来，我发现，原来我们身边不只一个她。
你们都发生过关系。。。你知道我发现了，还是无动于衷，一副你爱的还是我，最大的还是我的样子，仿佛这一切是我应当接受的。

突然，我梦醒了。
看看身边才发现，原来这一切都不是梦，正真的噩梦才开始。
我歇斯底里地哭了一场，心里很不甘心。
不甘心我这么信任你，你竟然背叛我。
不甘心我们身边的她们，每一个都是好女孩。
不甘心我这么爱你，爱得你那么痴心。。。你却不懂得珍惜。

我要找你问个明白，我真的。。。很不甘心。
就在这个时候，我醒了。闹钟还没响，我就醒了。
感觉好像没睡过一样，我还是很累。
我们一起吃早餐，把梦告诉了你，眼泪也快挤出来了。。。你只说了一句。。。
“傻傻的。。。”

我看我真的傻了，这已不是第一次了。。。
可是为什么，心理还是酸酸的。。。

Boring~

2008-12-02T12:45:00.002+08:00

im bored
abit lonely in fact...
got a job in a beauty company near my uni
guess wat position im holding? the admin/front desk/vase...
the last time i was wroknig as an admin was back in the days when i was working for my uncle, total isolation, boredom and kuku-ness...
i should have known better...this is just not my kind of work...

what should i do? tell me..
since yesterday ive constantly asked for things to do...
but nothing came down, guess wat i did yesterday...
created 3 types of form...and erm..wait, thts it!!
today was better, i did ONE filing and made ONE phone call...
wat should i do? sit and wait or continue to annoy them by begging for things to do...
i finally understand the meaning of redundancy...i really am redundant.

everyone is upstairs, and im left alone in the reception area...
should i go up? i tried...but its so awkward...
lunch time? one gal would go out and tapao...when she came back, she said she forgot to ask me whether i want to tapao or not...=__= she was talking to me right before she went out..
dont get me wrong, the people here are nice...i guess...
maybe its me, i do have a sombong look...

y did i took this job?
apparently i would be able to learn alot of things, deal with alot of people
right, so far, ive only deal with ... nothing ... its really admin admin stuff...
i like the flexibility, pay is not high, but its convenient..
...what should i do...?
sigh...

what ive been up to

2008-11-27T00:56:00.009+08:00

finished 2 presentations, one in BM about the movie "Aku bukan bujang" the whole presentation sucked, its not me, its the lecturer.

another one is my final project proposal, i tot i did okay

yes, still working with Digi...what?! they pay well okay, and ive been working with a bunch of really fun ppl, so i cant complain

its a month of birthdays, my high school best buds
happy birthday wern hui

celebrated tanz' bday in bangsar Delicious

can we go again? please...O_O

my cousin also my fellow emcee partner for cousin's wedding

it was a great wedding, really happy for them

mum's graduation, finally!

so proud of her

*update: still taking medication, side effects are kicking in, keep her in prayer*

*a picture taken long ago*
still crazily in love with him

screw u

2008-10-29T00:41:00.003+08:00

Dear DiGi,

as i am writing this i am filled with resentment towards you, if not you, its the the people that are working for you; if not all, maybe just a few particular.

lets put aside the fact that ive been a faithful digi user since i was 12.

and the fact that most of my part time jobs are working for you.

ive always told my friends that i have this indescripable connection with you because until today, i still get the opportunity to work for you, and i am proud, proud of your achievement, proud to be one of your user.

but today, you've gave me the biggest disappointmet

after the first roadshow in JB, i was thrilled, ive decided, hey, not only did Digi gave us good pay, but good accomodation and cool people to work with, y not continue for the next roadshow?

so i quickly rescheduled my appointments and tuition classes

being a responsible person, i told before hand that i must miss 1 working day as i am emceeing for my cousin's wedding, and so your people said its fine. hooray.

a couple of days later, your people decided to cut cost apparently, so only SELECTED people can work for the next roadshow.

disappointed n worried, ive made my plans, nevermind, still can reschedule, i shall wait a day or two, i din put high hope, i was ready to not be selected.

all of the sudden, great news.

my place is safe, again i mentioned tht 1 day tht i cant work, n it was fine.

hooray.

then i confirmed all my schedules and appoinments.

cool.

wait, thts not the end.

i cant remember how it happened, but your beloved workers LAST MINUTE decided that all promoters MUST work for 5 days straight, missing 1 day would not be allowed.

crushed.

there goes my plans, my list of christmas presents to buy, my clearance of debts.

sigh. y.

wait, thts not all yet.

this morning i found out

missing 1 day for last minute people is fine as long as replacement is provided...

wat the F***!!!!!

i shud have told you last minute tht i cant work on sat!!

y i so responsible n tell u early early ..

maybe i am making a really big deal out of this

but i seriously hate it when people spoil my plans LAST MINUTE

driving me up and down

giving me hope n taking it away and giving and taking

just because we din sign any contract doesnt mean u can play us like this

we dun standby for you 24/7

who do you think you are anyway?

you dont know how much the money means to us

you dont know how much trouble we have to go through to reschedule our routine

just because we are promoters doesnt mean you dont need to appreciate us!!

from this day onwards

i am boycotting Digi.

thanks for nothing.

updates

2008-10-14T01:47:00.002+08:00

thank you so much for your prayers and concern
mum's got back her report this afternoon
initially was suppose to get the report on wed
but nurse called early in morning out of the sudden
so we were unprepared...

doc has confirmed
mum's got TB
it is curable but mum's case is a little exceptional
TB usually happens in the lung, while in mum's case its in her lymph node
hence, medication may not be able to go through that area
if that is so, there will be more complications.

medications will cause mum to be weak
along with other side effects
so do continue to keep mum in prayer
thanks

my mummy

2008-10-09T01:03:00.007+08:00

mum came back from hong kong with lots of goodies

but also a very bad news

there's a lump in her lymph node

doctor suspect it could be serious

after seeing the specialist on monday

she immediately admitted to the hospital to remove the lump on tue

"mimi, ure not afraid of death, not afraid of pain, thn y r u now so worried?"

"because im afraid i leave at the wrong time..."

ive been hanging around the hospital for the past 2 days

i havent been sleeping well since the nite mum broke the news to me

n i dont know how much tears ive shed

in front of her i seem to be emotionless, sometimes still bubbly

its because i know once i get all emotional

my tears wont stop falling...n so i faked

im not afraid tht she will die

for she will have a better life in heaven...thts for sure

but its the tot of her goin through the pain

it eats my heart up

i know it was just a small surgery

n i was paranoid

but i cant help...she's my only family.

mum stayed overnight

many came to visit, even ex colleagues from years back

mum's very blessed

because she's always been a blessing to everyone...

please do keep her in prayer, her wound got infection, really swallon

pray tht her report will come out normal next week

removing the lump does not heal her

it is for further investigation n find wat its all about

pray tht its not cancer, not TB not anything but good health.

proud of wat?

2008-09-23T21:41:00.002+08:00

received a forwarded email today which says the below:

Therefore, I as the Head of Graduates of University of Malaya would like to advice all our fellow graduates of University of Malaya to combine forces and prepare ourselves together with all the necessary knowledge and preparation before we continue our fight in the actual battle field. This advice implies mainly to our Malay Graduates. We must treasure the sacrifices made by our ancestors which tried so hard to ensure that Tanah Melayu (Malay Land) is free from the intrusion of alien races. We must not fall into the category of those who forgets their roots until they will be taken over by other races. Graduates must prove themselves that we are capable and the best choice to take over the throne of governing the country in the future. This implies with the theme of MPMUM Progressive, Dynamic, Professional. There is nothing more important that can compared to our always-sensitive and improving Graduates. I also would like to advice all Malay Graduates to prepare ourselves in facing all sorts of unpredicted challenges that may occur in near future, relating to the rise of our fellow citizens, in particular to the non-Malay races. Don't let ourselves slack and allow our 'enemies under the blankets to attack us' (direct translation from the Malay idiom). Don't allow our Malaysia to fall into the hands of those who are irrelevant.

apparently this is a letter signed and approved by MU, attached in the mail was a picture of that letter and an enlarged version on the signature.

i dont know how true is this, because i do not believe in forwarded emails.
but looking at the circumstances and things that are happening in Malaysia
i cant help but to believe

it truly saddens me
i remember back in NZ, i always tell myself, that no matter where i am and how long i am away, i will go back to my country, to serve and to give back.
because i hold onto the believe that no one else will love me like my mother do
no country will accept me like Malaysia do
and i remember an interview not long ago, asking me what makes me proud of Malaysia.
no doubt, it was the multi cultural which makes our languages, food and life style so unique.

whenever people introduce about Malaysia
they will always mention the fact we are able to live in harmony even with the different races
but now...what has happened?
even the government has to take that one thing that makes Msia so unique
wat more can we be proud of now?

contented

2008-09-06T00:04:00.003+08:00

as i was walking out from my student's house tonight

i felt a sudden relieve

i felt the wind, the smell of the grass...it was very soothing indeed.

i wanted to take a longer walk, i needed the chill...

but it was too dark and my car was near.

as i sit in the car, reflecting back on all the things that's been happening

i smiled to myself

it wasnt a happy happy smile, but more like a ... sigh-ing smile

thinking back the things the student's mum just said to me

the demands and "suggestions" she gave...its funny, in a what-the-heck way...

then it was the clubs meeting...

my hands were almost numb, i was almost literally shivering during the meeting,

coz in these meetings, you dont know when you'll get shoot.

then it was my council member...

dont want to go to that...

in every aspect of my life, the things that i do

i have to deal with so many people, very different kind of people

when you look back

you find the combination very interesting

and ask God, how on earth did you come up with so many different kind of personalities.

then again, its the different characteristics that makes this world a beautiful one

many asked me how i cope

with the council, studies, tuition, and now, dance classes.

honestly, i have no idea.

i complain, i whine

im tired, i want to escape

then again i cant, i dont want to

because deep down my heart, i enjoy it

i enjoy working along with different kind of people

i enjoy the presence of my students

i enjoy my course

right now, i am contented.

Enlightenment

2008-08-09T21:52:00.002+08:00

my fren had this sudden "light bulb" moment while chatting with me the other day
today, the same thing happened to me, i was enlighten!

its been how many years now...? 3? 4? since ive been back from NZ.
until this day, i still miss my days back in auckland
the feeling is simply indescripable, its like missing another part of me
i always long to go back, but i could not explain y the feeling exists...

i always tot, its because i was a better person back there n then...
well, tht could be one of the reasons...
but today i realise, its because of the unfinished business i had over there...

i just finished my high school
Auckland U accepted me, i was looking forward to it...
frenship had just begin to blossom, i made plans...
ive just gotten to familiarise with the places and lifestyle, i was just adapting...
at the point of time we havent decided if we were going back or not, i left everything n everyone hanging...even myself...

now tht ive had my moment of enlightenment
ive decided to put the past in the past
i cant turn back time, nor shud i keep looking back
whatever will be will be
if can go back n start all over again, it would be great
otherwise, life goes on, n i believe it will still be beautiful...

thanks doinkie!

time of the month

2008-08-08T21:16:00.008+08:00

im sure everyone is happily watching olympics opening now..

while im miseribly home alone...y local channel no live from Beijing? =(

i keep thinking, who can i ajak to go watch the openings...
thn i realise, i dont have many frens do i?
yes, i have frens in college, and occasionally i can meet up the bunch back in high school.
but then at times like this, to call up for spontaneous outings...
someone just to talk to at that moment of time...i seriously have no idea who to call...
and i hate to bother him all the time, i guess he's not the type that likes to hang out with his galfren all the time...

y am i especially emotional tonite?
well, coz i really want to watch the openings...
2nd, today is the last day of the sem, done with all the assignments n presentation, but no one to celebrate with...
3rd is perhaps its the time of the month...

y do i feel like crying...?

*************************************************

hehe, mum came home n switched to RTM1
hehehe, so many cute guys...
im happy =)

this would be the first time in my life switching to RTM1 so many times...
haih, but super blur leh...oh well, better than nothing ^^

liar liar

2008-08-04T23:38:00.003+08:00

im very unhappy
afraid
worried

i dunno how long more i can keep up with this lie
im a big fat horrible liar
i dont want to be like my father...a liar...

yet i cant come clean
i dun dare to imagine wat will happen when the truth reveals itself
i cant afford to see it happen
i cant...

Lord, give me some time...
maybe just a little more...
u know i can handle this, so pls let me...
do not let things go any uglier than it is now...
i just need a little more time...

human

2008-07-27T23:14:00.003+08:00

human mind n heart are so unique n hard to predict

maybe this is y psychology is so cool n fun

been reading "world's greatest serial killers"

most convicts admits their wrongs and requested to be put to death so that they cant kill anymore

u see, this is how human works

we know wat we are doing are awfully wrong

yet, nothing seem to able to stop us from continuing it

somehow hoping someone or something else can stop us by force

i guess i am at this stage

i know my wrongs, yet i cant seem to able to come out from it

i know i must change, yet i am not ready to let go

somehow i hope, i was still in NZ, where in a foreign land i am more cautious and obedient

then again, until i leave this place...will it be too late for me to change?

想知道

2008-07-20T18:37:00.002+08:00

到底幸福的定义是什么？

lately...

2008-07-14T23:08:00.002+08:00

just came back from a camp that our class organized

we've been through ups and downs before, during and after the camp

the participants were amazing

amazingly sporting, enthusiastic and happy

most importantly, the commitee were fantastic!!

i think everyone did a great job...

proud of the team, and proud to be part of the team

how i wish i was the participant =p

btw, these are the cutie hamsters that our hamster gave birth to
they are officially one week old and they are simply adorable!!
the 2 dark browns look like their mother, while the white is a little like his/her dad
the light browns and grey ones are just so cute!!!!
omgoodness they are so cute...
i wish we can accomodate and keep them all to ourselves....

sigh

2008-07-10T22:19:00.002+08:00

心情有点沉重

心里有点挣扎

身心也有点累了

很多疑问，永远都不会有解答

很多答案，永远都解决不了问题

我本来就不喜欢抉择

所以逃避，是我的首选

可是能逃避多久呢？

逃避又能逃到多远呢？

我什么时候才会醒，什么时候才会勇敢面对？

2 years and 5 months

2008-07-04T16:31:00.000+08:00

i love you

they rock!

2008-06-29T23:18:00.006+08:00

Altered Frequency rocks!

my supervisor rockz too =D

survey

2008-06-20T00:01:00.002+08:00

hey boys n gals...
am here to do a quick survey with u guys =)

you know how we have all these directories on the internet
directories for hotels, places to visit, furniture, tuition n stuff
just one page n u can compare and locate ur prefered destination.

now, wat kind of directory is lacking but would bring alot of convenience for us as consumers?
feel free to drop in your opinion ya =)
thank u thank u thank u

burp

2008-06-16T22:32:00.003+08:00

appeal?!

i shud be the one appealing!! how come they can get so many votes when they did almost nothing?!

sigh...altho i was sort of expecting this to happen, it did effect me a little when i got the news

could it be because of tht im moodless the whole day? or am i too tired?

sigh... i miss spending some one on one time with him...

many told me not to worry about the appeal...

im not lar...just dont understand, they shud be happy with the number of votes for them with the amount of work they did...y still wanna appeal?

they've been saying we seperate the international n local students

i did not made the seperation, it is naturally divided...

one thing im really interested to find out, is tht how many locals voted for them...

they've been saying im racist n stuff...hello? i have many international supporters whom i dun even know personally ok?!

which im really touched n surprised! many international students came to me n yuki and told us that they are supporting us...

were they able to do the same for the locals? have they reached out to them?

they've been saying we dont understand the international students

do they understand us?! do they know wat we need?!

no doubt they are strong and motivated

but i really doubt if they are ready for the student council

and sometimes it makes me wonder wats their intention of running this election

to prove that they can? n thn wat?

im happy to recruit them into the team, which was initially planned...

but now, im not sure if i wanna go on with it...

some rest finally

2008-06-11T22:36:00.004+08:00

Be Psyched is finally over...

altho we are far from wat we expected to raise, we ROCKED UCSI!!

so proud of the team

so proud of myself...im a pro bubble tea maker now!! woo hooo!

campaign is also over now

voting starts tomorrow until friday 5pm

i would be lying if i say im not anxious about it

but like yuki said, we've done all we can

if still the "silent killers" win

its not God's will anymore i guess

everyone's been telling tht they would vote for me

tht ill surely win this election

truth is, the reason y they are voting me is becoz they are not happy with the opponent team, for watever reason...

they are not voting me becoz they believe i can really make a difference

which saddens me quite abit....

i asked myself, if only the opponent team was also formed by local students

would i still get so many support?

whatever it is

i just want to thank all the ppl thts involved in the campaign, n in many other ways of support during the whole process
i love u wives, ur support n love, i felt it

love the people who i hardly even know tht gave me a pat on the shoulder

love mr terry for messing up my hair and being proud of me

love my mum for being supportive and proud of wat im doing
im always so loved by people around me

wat can i ever do to repay...

campaign

2008-06-05T23:12:00.009+08:00

just wanna say million thank u to all of you
couldnt have done it without any of u...

my 3 wives...where's one more?!

oi...get back to work ar...

guess who decided to drop by n support?!

twister orange juice!! yum!!

thank u again...

the opponent team din do anything until 2pm, whereby we have to go for class ady.

it was set from 11-1pm...the president sat n watched us do everything the whole time...

sigh, just dun like the fact tht we couldnt compete together...

students deserve to make comparison between both teams...

believe it or not, i wan to have a good fight...to make my victory even more glorious n worth while =x

why now?

2008-06-04T19:29:00.003+08:00

i seriously do not need anymore stress now
every little thing that goes wrong can really drive me up to the wall

i should not need to worry about my financial abilities now
the petrol price should not have gone up so ridiculously high
my mother should not be crying and worrying ... she should not be taking the responsibility to support this family solely...

i should be able to lie on your shoulders and cry now
but instead u left every opportunity i could have with you
when was the last time we had a heart to heart conversation

i should not be letting all these out on the love ones around me
i should have known better...

i need to cry
i need a break
but they all seem so unreachable...

it has finally hit me

2008-05-27T02:08:00.002+08:00

i thought i could handle the stress
i thought i knew exactly what i am getting myself into
obviously i have thought wrong...

after the campaign briefing today
it has finally hit me that, i am running against the time
so many things needed my attention, so many things ive given my commitment to
i suddenly realise, i may not be able to do this

psychology day
training camp
case study
video making
projects
assignments
quizzes
tuitions
campaign
theVoice?!

so many things going through my head
suddenly i was really really afraid
tht i may not make it after all
but i have to...
i dont have much choice...
let me fight through this few weeks...thn i might have time to breathe..

thank you SeeTho n Mei n Brend for looking through the banners n buntings
thank you KeanHao for fetching us around
thank you Yuki for being supportive
thank you... for lending me your shoulders...

im running!!

2008-05-17T01:12:00.002+08:00

ive always wanted to do something big
always wanted to make a difference
always wanted to prove myself worng

ive always wanted to run for president in the student council
always wanted to make uni life as it shud be for myself n the rest of the uni
always wanted ppl to know, wat student council is all about n its all about them

ive been relying on ppl's comment n opinion for my own's value
i get easily discouraged
n as much as i hate to admit it, i have very low self-esteeem...

ive such dreams and visions
ive much concern and compassion
but i was never a completer
no matter how extravagan, how great the plan was
i could never get it done, at least not till the end

but im glad i made the decision to run for presidency
good or bad
elected or not
i think this is going to be a great experience

n i was touched
with the amount of support everyone have shown me
and i will not let you guys down

ucsi!
here i come!!

where are u

2008-05-11T00:26:00.002+08:00

eventhough ive misplaced you before
i'd always know where to get you back

eventhough ive got angry and purposely leave you behind
you knew i would go back and get you

but now...
i dont where to get you back eventhough u knew i desperately want to

where are u?
im sorry if i havent been treating you right
but you must be scared and lonely now...
do come back if you know the way...coz i really really miss you....
and i promise to never leave you again...

i do not enjoy crying...not at all...

2008-05-07T23:46:00.003+08:00

do u know y i was so upset?

already we havent been talking much lately
already we're not spending much time together

now we are going to spend lesser time together...

i could be imagining the distance by myself
i could be paranoing over nothing again
i could be fine a few days later

but right now im very very unhappy...
u always say we're going the spend the future together, y worry so much abt now?
u always say we will make time to see each other
maybe im not a person tht holds too much hope abt the future, not anymore
maybe im just too dependent over u

how is this going to work?
i have no faith

how have i become so lonely and pathetic...

year 3 already?!

2008-05-05T01:42:00.002+08:00

so this is how i ended my 3 weeks long holiday...

it's a great movie, i'd rate it star star star star and a half star

was really looking forward to the new semester, am still quite excited to see my wifeys and the rest of the class...
but it only stuck me just a couple of hours ago tht this will be my FINAL year!!
what am i going to do after this?
how am i going to do?

~que stephie stephie~~whatever will be will be~~

gosh i need some sleep O.o zzzzzzzz

p/s: happy 27th month-liversary

lets welcome JANSON!!

2008-05-02T00:26:00.003+08:00

Janson Ong Jan-Son XD

finally he's out and alive!!
i dunno y, im just so very excited about it...
seeing Jo n Mj getting engaged, married n thn now having their very own family...
it makes me feel like im part of it...

no doubt i desperately wanna get married and have a family of my own
i guess its coz i dont have a complete family
so i tend to be eager to form one of my own?
perhaps....or it could just be me

but im truly happy for them...=)
this sure is a very special boy
pray that Father God will keep both eyes on him, and that Your will can be done on him and this family
thank You for safe delivery
thank You for such blessed couple
thank You for Janson
Amen

malacca trip!

2008-04-25T00:46:00.024+08:00

finally, ive decided to sit down and post my trip to malacca
believe it or not, we stayed in a MANSION!! yellow color somemore!
whoaa...
n then its like super convenient, walk down is mamak ady

yellow mansion only 90bucks? for 4 single beds

i have to post this, coz its the only antique tht im allowed to snap XD

first stop! chicken rice ball!!

its really nice, maybe coz i wasnt expecting much =)

a nice shot taken by mei, love the interior, love the "antient" feeling...

btw aple, tht ball is for u...stephz ate it!!!

n the the walk on Jonker street begins

it was very quite tht day as it was a monday
most of the shops were closed coz jonker street is at its busiest during weekend

there were many cute stuff in the shops

like this samurai sword i found...=D

there were many cool shops with cool stuff which din allow camera...so yea..
at the end of the walk, we followed the smell of laksa n into a shop...

its just a nice shot taken by gwen, nice lar, but nothing special...

baba nyonya cendol...gwen likes it, i tot its just okay...

tht concludes our jonker walk
before we left, we bought a souvenier

hohohoohoo...my first lottery ticket!!

n btw...stephz made a fren...

his name is hoohoohaha

after a quick nap, we headed for sate celup

it tasted good at the beginning, i think i was quite hungry, but after tht, very jelak leh...

but the fish was good, as u can see from her face...^^

thn we headed for "definitely, maybe" =_=
i liked the cinema

notice how the screen is facing out...

they also have this mini lounge...din dare to take too many pics lar, later ppl tot im from which kampung >"<

the next day after some souvenier hunting, we had brunch at some nyonya restaurant

sigh, gal ar, next time i bring u guys to ss2 k?

but im really impressed with the deco

hehehee...

here are some group pics

i would love to go back to malacca again, for a longer period of time
when i was looking at the old buildings, the antiques and furnitures
it was heartfelt, i couldnt stop thinking abt the people tht build this place, their story, their pain...i dunno, i just felt something...

it was a great trip gals...cant wait for the nxt one
there were lots of laughters and craziness...love u all so so much
tho we wont know if we would still get the chance to travel together after we graduate, i just want to treasure this moment with u all
life in UCSI wouldnt be this high if it wasnt for u gals
ive learned alot from all of u, n each of u meant alot to me
muackz!!
cant wait for the next semester to start!! wooo hooo!!

from heaven to hell

2008-04-23T23:46:00.002+08:00

din know there's a movie titled "from heaven to hell"
but thts how im feeling right now
one minute i tot im in heaven, everything seems so pretty n kind to me
the next, im being tortured to bits, not physically, but emotionally, like im in hell, u can do the imagining part...

im tired...really, im exhausted...
so many questions unanswered
so many wounds unhealed
so many tears unwiped
i dunno how much i can take this anymore....

let's go to the ZOO!!

2008-04-22T00:17:00.010+08:00

yup! we went to the zoo!!

it was just another day,was actually planning to stay home n do some house keeping
however, i wasnt able to come home from lunch until after tuition
he brought us to the zoo without me expecting it!!

after lunch, he just kept on driving, he was grinning all the way but he just wouldnt say a word
n WALA! we're at the zoo negara =D
i laughed so loud when i found out we're heading to the zoo, not only because we are GOING to the zoo!! but also because its a lil surprise he's planned ^^
i like it when ppl PLAN something for me, knowing tht he is thinking of me the whole process of planning, makes me feel so special...
and because its a surprise, i din bring my camera, n i my phone was low in batt!!
so not much photos taken...but it was truly a happy happy day...

must take a pic be4 batt dies!!

giraffe!! the first animal tht we saw...man they are tall @_@

some bird left wandering around...i was a lil freaked out..

tapir!! he said it eats ants...hahaha, they feed on fruits wan lar...

there are lions behind me!! *roar*

ahem...tiger..

some bigass bull...*fart*

thts my boy, not one of the display animals...=D

my lil pony~my lil pony~ gosh i miss tht cartoon!

boo!

all in all, it was a happy trip
altho we are sticky n stinky, we couldnt let go of each other's hand, n if we're not holding hands, we are in each other's arm...
he was so excited, din wanna stop for a sec
we were like spotting where's the animal n stuff...
we talked, we laughed...it was simply amazing...
really, its been quite some time now...

thank u for this amazing trip
thanks gwen for the car =)
thank u...for making me happy...

Italiannese ... finally!!

2008-04-17T23:40:00.010+08:00

been wanting to go italiannese for a loooooooooong time
the first time i went for it was like a couple of weeks back where we had a farewell party for kor joey at 1u
i fell in love with it almost immediately!!
reason y i din blog abt it the last time was coz i wasnt able to take any pics, but this time i did!!

classic cabonara, dont leave italiannese without trying it

their starters were freshly baked bread with a touch of olive oil n vinegar
it was exquisite!!!
n coz me n my gals went arnd 11am, the bread was still warm!!
its just the best ever...but just 1 tip, do not order for extra bread, else u wont be able to finish the real deal at the end...*burp*

so for drinks, me ordered grape shake

thts poh yoke (just found out her eng name was jade) btw, nice shot huh =D
the grape shake was refreshing n its not too sweet...
the amazing part was, altho it was sort of like ice-blended, the taste was still there right down to the last sip...simply amazing.

thts mel with her tropicana sunshine
its banana blend with pineapple
feels weird drinking banana...but it was good =)

last but not least is jade's cafe mocha
they said it was just alright, im not a coffee fan so i wouldnt know
it does look nice tho

classic pizza
definitely one classic pizza i ever had
the ingredients were fresh and the base was well done

tiramisu
jade din know i was taking tht...hahaha, u can see how much she wants it...

when it comes to tiramisu, mel is the pro
according to her, tiramisu shouldnt taste like cake at all, n this didnt!
it was just yummy cream, rich coffee powder and some stuff in between

n as for ppl like me tht doesnt appreciate cake aside from cheese cake
i kinda like it, especially the chocolate, rich n not too sweet
if i werent tht full, i would have taken a few more bites

in conclusion, it was a great meal n great time spent with my high school best buds
did some window shopping in the gardens n mid valley
it was great =D
love u gals!

over dependent on my car

2008-04-16T11:18:00.005+08:00

suppose to blog abt my trip to malacca with the wives....
but...

dun worry, im fine...
just had a great shock...
i tot i heard a gun shot or something, it was really really really loud n sudden...
sigh...mum said may as well bring it for spraying, since ive done so much artwork on the car...
its going to take me 2 weeks ok?!

we've planned to go mid valley the next day...
after so long we've finally got to go out...a real go out.
but now...
i know, we can still take public transport...
but i dunno if he wants to go through the hassle...
plus, looking at the weather, i wont have the mood to wear nice nice n then sweat before even reaching mid valley...
so i am going to rot in the house...
but the thing is, i need to go for tuitions!!!!

can someone borrow me a car? =D

not good with goodbyes....

2008-04-13T23:48:00.004+08:00

i tot by not going to the airport i would not cry
but i guess it is the same
seeing you guys go ...
it was one strong and big hug you gave just now...i can almost feel the love you really have for me...
will i ever be able to love just like u?
i was just another kid in the church, and u picked me as ur pet sister
n from tht day onwards, you seriously took care of me like i was ur real sister even until today...its been 12 years now? or more?

we had so much fun together when we were young
u brought me to so many places and gave me so many things
u loved and cared for me
altho its not the same anymore...we drew further apart...
its my fault, i did not make an effort to spend time with u n ur family...
i dunno y...its not tht i dont wan to...
i dunno, i guesss after all these years, i was just afraid we wont be like last time anymore....

you n cheh made such a great family
i believe u guys will do just fine in Australia...n i promise this time i will visit!
just promise u guys will be strong and stay positive in tht foreign land
God will help u guys pull it through...He did give u the PR din He? =)
love u lots kor...love u lots!!
take care n ill see u soooon...

im an elmo!!

2008-04-12T00:55:00.000+08:00

You Are Elmo

Sweet and innocent, you expect everyone to adore you. And they usually do!

You are usually feeling: Talkative. You've got tons of stories to tell. And when you aren't talking, you're laughing.

You are famous for: Being popular, though no one knows why. Middle aged women especially like you.

How you life your life: With an open heart. "Elmo loves you!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

no more passion?

2008-04-08T23:36:00.004+08:00

funny, i tend to always do this right before my final paper =_= not a good sign ...
anyway, kinda cant get this off my head...
was asking how was my fren doing with her boy...she just replied, no more passion...
n it got me thinking...does it always have to be like this?

BEFORE
g: u sure u wanna come over? u dunno anyone here n u dunno the way...
b: no worries ill find my way...the most important thing is i know you n i wanna be with u...
g: awwww...

AFTER
g: come lar, its not tht u never seen them before...
b: no lar, no topic with them also...
g: ....u can talk to me...
b: i can talk to u at home also...

BEFORE
g: u sure u wanna watch this? its a chick flick!!
b: nvm lar, the most important thing is u like it...

AFTER
g: lets watch 27 dresses!! got pretty gal wor...
b: dont want laaaaaaaaaaaaar....
g: .............but i really wanna watch it...
b: .....dont want laaaaar...

BEFORE
g: awwww!! thts so sweet!! u shudnt have!!
b: *smile* i like it when u smile...
g: but y?...
b: because i love u...

AFTER
g: ei? how come geh?
b: because if i dont do it u will show me ur black face...
g: .........

BEFORE
boy wakes up slightly early to style the hair, shave up, put on the best clothes before going out with gal...

AFTER
gal waking boy up, he wakes up, wash up, and go straight out...*notice no shaving, no hair styling, no best clothes...*

if any relationship is going to lose its passion eventually...and everything we do is just for the sake of doing...
then what the heck are we to maintain a long term relationship?
i would rather it be short and full of passion...
sigh...

yawn

2008-04-03T05:02:00.003+08:00

i know i shud be studying now...its only 5hours away from my msian studies paper and i still have loads to read. it would be a miracle if i can chunk everything into my brain in such limited time. gosh im abit nervous now...coz im not sure if i can pass this subject...abit phobia towards this subject ady.............plsssss, just let me pass n ill be more than happy!!

so my brain was jammed i begin surfing the net, i clicked on ucsi's web tv n watched an episode of our own and personal "talk it out" segment in our campus. Basically they come up with the latest topics and go around interviewing people of what they think. Ive personally kena a few times ><

it was quite interesting when they first started...but its getting a lil dull...just interviews? i tot they are the creative ones =x

anyhoooooooooo, thts not wat im up here for at this weee hour...

i was just watching one of the "talk it out" about valentines day...

and this is wat i think...

yea, when you found the right person, everyday shud be a valentines day

yes, valentines day has become so comercialise its becoming so unromantic and fake

yet, can u imagine if there is no valentines day?

if valentines day dont exists...

there wont be any excuse for you to ask the gal of your dream to go out...i mean, going out on a valentines day is a pretty obvious intention, and if a gal is willing to go out with u, u know u have a big chance coz its a VALENTINES day...

it is the existence of valentines day that pushes the singles to fight for their love and chase that special someone into their lives...

coz from wat i heard, valentines day is a torture for the singles...*shrugs* dunno if it applies to all....

living in a fast pace society, everyone is busy with their lives, jobs, studies...and other commitments and responsibilities. All these could be pulling us apart from our love ones and spend lesser time with each other. Hence, valentines day could be a perfect excuse to put everything aside and just enjoy the day with your loved ones...heck! i think valentines day shud be a public holiday!! let the love flow~~

no siblings ... good!

2008-03-23T00:14:00.002+08:00

come to think of it, im thankful...tht im the only child.
aside from the fact that me alone is already too much to handle for my mum, i have so much to be thankful about.

see, i dont need to be compared with my siblings.
i dont have to inherit 2nd hand stuff
i wont have extra ppl to nag me around the house
and the most important thing is, i dont need to be a role model!!!
because i just realise that i would make a lousy sister if mum gave birth to any younger ones.

first of all, i am not smart nor am i hardworking.
i always leave things to the last-est minute until i cant tahan myself anymore

second, i such a messy person
mum is right (doesnt she always) that i am just as bad as a bloke!
i hate/lazy to put on night cream day cream unless my face starts to pop out with pimples
i dont clean my room until i cant find something...

third, i am a super moody person.
one minute i can laughing and jumping around the house, next minute i would be frowning and ask everyone else to shut up...at least in my head.

see, i would make a bad bad role model
my younger siblings would be just as lazy n messy as me, and he or she could emotionally abused by me just because im such an unpredictable person, at least for my moods.
and they would have nothing to look up to in me, nothing of me to be proud of.

so yea, i thank God i dont have siblings...

i met a freaking flasher!!

2008-03-09T18:59:00.002+08:00

the proper term for it is "exhibitionist"

so i decided to be slightly early (my time lar) for church today...
found a nice parking (in comparison with the usual parkings i had)
as i was walking across the mini field...i saw a black car passing by...
his window was opened, and he was looking around, i thought he was lost or something...
before i finished crossing the longkang, he already stopped...almost right infront of me..
i din look at him, coz i was afraid he would fall in love with me...XD
right then i heard "hello"...ok, he must be looking for direction...
i looked at him (taking the risk tht he might fall for me), his eyes "directed" me to look further front... ......... ......... GREAT!! i think he had circumcision...can see the line in the middle...O.o *shake shake shake* as u can see, the picture is still quite fresh in my head >"<
come to think of it...how did he "place" his lil penis so high tht i can see through the window frame?
i think he was half lying down...

i remember few semesters ago we studied this abnormal sexual behavior
exhibitionist are low self-esteemed, they only wanna SHOW their stuffs and want no body contact, and being frightened will only enhance their satisfaction. Because if we're shocked, it shows they are in dominant, something that they could never gain in their personal life.
when i heard my frens describing their or their their frens' experiences with flashers...i told myself, if i were to meet any of those flashers, i would laugh at their penis n say "huh? so small only ar" tht will definitely potong their steam man!!!!
BUT say only mar....when it really did happen to me.....my heart was racing so fast n my legs were shaking like mad woman...however, i just pretend i din see anything n just walked off...
i shud have look back n see his number plate man!! but i was quite freaked out lar, come on, i was the only living thing on the street ok?!

i wonder if those "20 steps to confront snatch theft" works...
coz i dont think it will work when ure put at the position...
i was so shock i din know how to react at first...
good thing my reaction is always slow half a beat...tht guy must be so pissed off...

when i went up to church, i realise i wasnt the only victim...
wat keeps me thinking is...wat is in their mind when they come out of the house
do they prepare n get ready to flash at random ppl?
or it is a spontaneous action?
hmmmmm....i shud have given him my number n ask him to call me whn his penis is well stored...

oh God pls take the mental picture away from me....>"<

maybe its the bad hair cut

2008-03-01T20:50:00.003+08:00

kinda emo right now...

i just hate staying home alone when im not in a good mood, coz it will just make it worse...

eversince i came back from NZ...ive lost half of my frenz, not to say ive lost them, just dont have the opportunity to get together like old times anymore...

n eversince ive got into a relationship...ive been putting most of my time into it....

so now tht im alone, i have no one to call, no where to go...

maybe mum is right, i just need to find something to do at home, we dont really need company all the time...which is true, coz my room is in a total mess now...

maybe its the bad haircut ive got today...eeeeeeeergh!! ill have to either stay home until it grows long again or ill just have to kill myself...

already i dont like to look into the mirror, now i feel like breaking all the mirrors in my house...

haha,chill...its just an expression...
but really...ive never really hated my hair so much like today...

i feel like im having pms now...but truth is my period's just passed.

so i have no excuse, i have to learn to control my emotion and cope with it.

someone once told me, "we dont have to get used to the myseries around us, but get rid of it"

i know, im wearing a shirt that doesnt suite me at all, its making me fat, uncomfortable and unhappy. but im so used to it i dont know how to get rid of it...

i have 3 choices, eat until i fit nicely into the shirt, alter the shirt to fit myself, or to just take it off and go naked!!! weeeeeeeeeee!!

i shud really be focussing on other stuff now...loads of assignments due-ing

lots of tuition classes to prepare...

yea, i shud start with tidying up my room =)

my 21st birthday

2008-02-26T16:02:00.010+08:00

so february is a big month.
anniversary, valentine, my birthday...
as much as i have told myself not to expect much...i have failed myself.
things may not turn out to be the least of my expectation, they werent so disappointing after all.
stephz said im a very easily pleased person, its true, n its always been this way.
anyhooo...i hope its a good thing.

so its my 21st birthday...
no fancy party, no pretty dress...but there were a great times with frenz n family..n great food too!!
my day started off in church, the gals bought a cake to "surprise" me...
well, i sort of saw brend coming in with a cake in her hands, saw amanda with the knife n candle, n smell the smell of matches...ahhahaa...but it was totally sweet of them to go through the effort.

thn it was lunch with jayson, love the carbonara, love the lamb chop, love being able to bring him to new places to eat n spend him the expensive lunch.

thn it was dinner with the whole family.
its been quite some time now since the last time i got together with all of them.
and we were able to take lots of group pictures...!! it was just perfect.

right at the end of my birthday...he showed up ...

same place, same song, same u....^^

then it was the gals nite out the next day....thank u wifeys..u gals rox!!

and here are my prezzies!!

people are trying to girly-zise me....

from my cousin...kinda like it =)

my gold key!!

more ang pau...more ... more $$$$

a GIRLY converse shoes...which i like =)

last but not least...my FIRST birthday present from him =)
oklar, he did give me my W580...so i cant complain ...hehe...

welcome to adulthood

2008-02-25T13:13:00.003+08:00

after several attempts to blog for the past few weeks, ive finally got myself to sit down n scribble something on my quiet and miserable blog.
seeing that, you can see that im quite emotional now...
not because of my pathetic lunch of 1slice of toast bread with tuna in water...no butter, no salt, no mayo, no cumcumber no nothing. And then with a hot cup of black coffee with no sugar, no milk, no nothing...yes, im finally on with my 3 days diet plan...im dying already, im not sure if i can continue with this next week, the week after until i finally lose these fats of mine....
no im NOT getting all emo becoz of THT...i want to slim down ok...
well, its just that...a cruel reality has finally hit me last week...
here's wat i wrote on a piece of tissue after i wet jayson's new pair of levis jeans.

now i understand when people say "its ok, you dont have to tell me, but just so u know, im good with secrets". yea, i always tot they mean wat they say, but now it sounds totally different "come one just tell me, i REALLY wanna know, then ill have a great topic for lunch today."

all my life, i never really believed in back stabbing, but i have to stop being so naive,i am 21 already u know, i have to stop telling myself that i can TRUST others.
i should have listened to them, or rather, just him, that the only person i can trust is myself...myself? really? i dont think i can ....so, does tht mean i can trust no one ady? *great*

people wont give a damn with how u feel.
even if it's the most hurtful event that happened in your life, once they see imperfection in u, they will just turn around and laugh. Hey! whats a good joke if you cant spread to the whole wide world? it just scares me...when i realise i can no longer trust anymore...

lesson learned: keep your mouth shut! people love hot stuff, they dont really care. when they say they know how u feel, they are lying. So just keep everything to yourself until u explode and DIE!!

Q: wat do ppl gain by gossiping?
A: self-righteous.

***********************************************

wat i wrote above is only directed to some ppl, which i dont really know who exactly...yet.
so dont feel offensive...its something i need to get out of my chest
tht nite was just horrible, my tears fall exactly like when i "broke-ups" with jayson, i cant really describe how it feels...i guess its like when children find out that santa is just a fiction.
but i feeel grown up now... thanks to whoever you are...
ok im done =)

not in Chinese New Year mood...

2008-02-06T22:33:00.000+08:00

well, not tht ive been much of CNY mood anyway...
ever since i stop going back to Mentakab...i kinda stop having the mood to celebrate chinese new year...
especially this year...ive got nothing much to look forward to...

becoz of the incident with my uncle, my family decided not to visit other relatives....no mood lar, its different without my uncle around, my mum said.
so no visitation...wats there to look forward to?
if i follow jayson to visit some frenz...they sure gamble, which i am not very fond of...
no new clothes...no ang pau...nothing much to look forward to...
oh yes, my assignments of coz...

but it was great having dinner at my grand-aunty's house tonite.
she's the one that brought me up, she piggy-back me to skool, she helps me finish my homework, she plays masak-masak with me =)
every new year eve, she cooks exactly the same dish, n i dont think i will ever get tired of it...
it was great going to the place im familiar with, tasting the taste that i love so very much...

after the dinner, im back to assignment...still cant think of a topic...@_@
sigggggggggggggggggggggggggggghh...

2nd post of the day..

2008-01-29T18:34:00.000+08:00

ok ok ok...so i admit i am quite excited about the gathering with my primary skoolmates..
although ive been telling jayson tht i dun feel like going coz of my "gorgeous" body figure...which is true...but heck! who cares!!

anyway...so i was digging some boxes looking for some photos i took during primary skool days...
i accidently saw mum n dad's pictures...some that i never ever seen be4..

so my mum was a beauty...n she still is in many ways...but she's getting old...really old...
and my dad is as charming as any other guys...if he was younger i might even fall for him, for he was also a sweet talker...a liar my mum calls him...
mum looked happy in the photos...maybe so was dad, but because of wat i already know about him, something tells me it wasnt real.
one thing for sure, he loves me...not enough, sadly...

looking through mum's pictures...she almost had it, and she deserves to be happy....to have a complete family...
and also from the pictures, i could see, i was her only hope... and happiness.
suddenly i realise, i hadnt really forgave my father...
i always tell ppl, "its alrite, its so long ago, it doesnt affect me much, so there's nothing to forgive"
truth is, forgettin doesnt mean forgiving...n i surely havent forgive him yet.
not because of wat he had done to me, but to mum....
i can almost feel the pain mum used to have...
i mean, how could he? what went wrong? wasnt mum good enough for him?

maybe tht is y i fear...
fear of being cheated...
fear of losing something that i love...
and the more i fear, the more obsess i become...

Mr. Todd

2008-01-29T15:41:00.000+08:00

ever wonder wats REALLY in ur delicious mince n cheese pie?

ever wonder why no one ever step out from the barber shop?

ever wonder why a boy becomes who he is today?

or have u ever wonder why does the smoke from her chimney smells so badly?

as for me...i never really wondered that Johnny Depp can SING!!

phew!! he is just so my new idol...

quite an interesting movie i would say....
bloody n disgusting...but its a classic...
only artistic ppl will know how to appreciate it...*ahem* like me *ahem*

since when?

2008-01-22T20:07:00.000+08:00

since when have i began to look down at myself?
where have all my confidence gone to?
since when have i began to hate myself?
where is the love?!~

never in my life i feel so ... hak yan zeng ("hatable")...
and this low self-esteem of mine is taking the ppl and things that i love away from me...
no matter how i used to complain how worthless i am in the past, i can still see quality in me...
but now...
im just afraid one day i will lose everything....just because i could not love myself anymore...

sigh, i need a break...

2007

2008-01-01T16:41:00.000+08:00

i know this is abit late, been kinda busy, but really wanna do it lar =)
just a recap of the things tht's happened in 2007...

got "promoted" to CAC unit to work with world's coolest supervisor, Mr Terry.

its gwen gwen's first yee sang!!! aikz, cant see mei mei tim...

it MINE birthday =)

an unforgettable genting trip ^^ muackz!! to u n uzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

gwen gwen's birthday!! *burp*

worked with a bunch of crazeee yet incredibly nice ppl at PWTC International Book Fair.

Wiley rocks!!

MPPK meeting with other council member from various colleges with the deputy minister of Msia in Marriot Hotel at Putrajaya. The toilet was bigger than my house ok!!

seafood with darling and his friends ^^ ....*stomach growling*....crab.........prawn........

congrates to Jo n MJ!!

Emcee for UCSI Merdeka Sports Open...was a fun experience!

lil karaoke session with some primary skool mates

missing u kevin... ...

went back to my primary skool to teach for my Edu psych assignment...fun fun fun!!

ROYAL LONDON CIRCUS!!!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmuackz!!

and so the journey in NOW Serices begins~~

its stephz 21st birthday!!

yard sales in NOW Services...stressful yet fruitful experience =)

MIRA Country performance...wassup!!

sweeeeeetest christmas eve ever!!

"A Special Christmas and You" party at my intern place...

thanks again to everyone tht came along to help and perform...wouldnt make it without any of u...muackz!!

and tht roughly concludes my 2007...

thank u all for making it happen =)

as for 2008, i dont have specific wishes or expectation...ill just take it step by step...

good or bad, ill take it all.

and as for u who are reading this...HAPPY YEAR 2008!!!

its not tht bad after all...

2007-12-26T11:53:00.000+08:00

so christmas has pass and gone ...
oklar, ill just say its not tht bad after all =)

after this friday
im so close to freedom...
so loooooooooooking forward to college...but tht also means the release of results @_@

Christmas

2007-12-17T11:23:00.000+08:00

Doinkie, this picture is for you...come back soon ya?

for some reason...or many, im not looking forward to Christmas this year.
i have nothing to look forward to, i have prepared no gifts for anyone...im broke, literally.
Christmas has played such a big part in my life, it is so huge that i look forward to it more than my birthday.

Every year, i am involved in church, and family Christmas gathering.
All the practises and preparation, just makes Christmas even more exciting and meaningful.
And because of tht...Christmas is becoming, one of my biggest stress of the year.

Especially this year, everything is so tiring, stressful...n wrong!
y cant we have Jesus' birth as our main theme anymore? isnt tht wat Christmas is all about?
so much responsibilities and things to look after, and everything i do seems to be going down the hill... i am not looking forward to Christmas at all! i am looking forward to the day AFTER Christmas...when everything is finally done and over....i need some rest...alot of rest...

i wanna fly to the place where i see on tv...
staying at home with loved ones, having turkey for dinner, sitting around the tall and well decorated Christmas tree with a cup of chicken soup in my hands, watching the snow fall and cuddle on the sofa with blanket around me, chit chatting with family..no stress, no worries...a time of sharing and relax.

my working place is well decorated, there are at least 3 christmas trees around, everyday the player is playing Christmas songs....
but it all seem so meaningless...

my Malaysia

2007-11-15T11:12:00.000+08:00

what has happened to Malaysia?
heck what is happening to the world?

in parts of US they are praying for rain
yet in the other part of the world, ppl die becoz of rain!

everyday u watch the news, there are people being killed for no particular reason
which makes me wonder if myself or someone close to me would be the next victim

this is Malaysia, my Malaysia, D Malaysia that i am so very proud of
but what is this Malaysia doing to keep this pride of mine?
watching how the police is spraying chemicled water onto the BERSIH demostrators
forces me to agree that YES, we are indeed just one of THOSE countries.
so what if we have someone in space and the tallest building?

we also have the darkest alley that no one is suppose to see.

so wat is there to be proud of?

the government is trying so hard to dress up surface of Malaysia

yet inside we are just as ...

we are the people that make this land possible
but y are they pushing us away??

people leaving...first it was the friends from formal high school..
then is the church members....now, even my neighbours have moved out!

when i was in NZ, i always told myself that i will come back n serve my country
to help n beuatify my HOMe..but is my home accepting our offer?

now, altho i still have little hope n burden for my country
i find no reason to convince others to stay anymore

Malaysia BOLEH!!!

2007-11-10T11:29:00.000+08:00

by the way, did i mention that i need to work on every alternate saturdays?

not half day, but from 9-5pm. waaaaaaaaaaaah...so fun!!

anyhooo, i have something ... well i wont say interesting, its more like something absurd...

i took my own sweet time coming to work this morning, coz its a saturday morning, no jam gua..

along the way, i saw some policemen standing at the side of the road.

until i reach the turning to the Istana, i see cars in front starting to u-turn...no waaaaaaaaaay...
road closed??!!

so i turn one big round to federal.

along the way to klang, the road was as smooth as it could be...until i see the road on my right...
road block!! polis pemeriksa wor~~~

then it started to get into me when i see the looooooooooooooooooooooooong queue...i am so late!

right after one toll, there's ANOTHER road block!! heck what does the police wants from us?!

passing yet another toll, i see the THIRD freaking road block!!!

gosh i no need to go to work ady lar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so all together it took me almost an hour to reach my work place from klang, which usually takes only 20mins.

when i was passing by the road blocks, the polices dint even look at me okay?!

they just wave their hands like they are waving the flies away...@_@

fun izzit?!

-update 1:08pm-

*beep beep*

"hi dis is unsolicited but heard d gathering escalated into riot in kl. do avoid going in2 kl 2day"

hmmmmmmm, wat gathering?

heard it was about the Bersih Demonstration...could the road blocks be related to it?

i dunno, hearing the news does giv me a creep and worry...*tho i have no idea wats going on*

Lord, what will Msia be turning into...

internship zzzzzzzzzz

2007-11-05T16:06:00.000+08:00

so here am i, sitting behind the reception table all day
its 4:07pm now, im glad, in less than 2 hours i am going home...

its the 3rd day of work now...
i can only describe it with one word...BORED!!
yes we were assigned with "stuffs" to do...but sitting in front of the computer the whole freaking day is plain BORED!
been reading reading n reading...heck i din even read so much for my assignments in college
but because i really have nothing else to do here, all i can do is READ = BORED
those of u tht din know, im not really fond of reading

im suppose to type out a "textbook" of 100-200 pages on Marriage and family counseling
fun!
so i have to read as much material as posible to enable the production of this "textbook"
fun fun!
..............zzzzzzzzzzzZzzzZzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzz.......

well aside from tht, everything else is alrite i guess
ppl n bosses are good, place is nice n QUEIT!
lunch is free n i can use my own laptop
can learn stuff that are related to my field of study (eg preparing modules, observe clients, carry out events etc.)

work place is located in PJ
so PJ is now officially my 2nd home!!
aside coming to work, my church is nearby also, so 7 days a week in PJ no fail
weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! @_@ T R A F F I C J A M P E T R O L B O R I N G

so how was gardening day u asked?
hahaha, its GREAT!!
i had to literally pull grass with my bare hands, no gloves!! T_T
oh yea n guess wat happen the next day after i pull off some of the grass?
aside from backache n crack nails
my supervisor actually called pros to cut the grass!!!!!!!!!
wat the...then y lar the aunty aka receptionist go n pull the grass! make me follow also...n get all exhausted for nothing...

u know, i think its a good strategy to get ur staffs to do the gardening n cleaning up
it makes ur staffs feel at home
u know, doing all the work urself...*no sarcasm applied*
yeah! meeting!!

holiday

2007-10-31T17:22:00.000+08:00

well, its the last day of my "holiday" now...lets see how fun was my "holiday"..

23rd was my first n last day of finals. it went alrite...i hope.

24th i slept till the noon n decided i should really get a haircut before i start my intern
n along with a few best frenz, we went to the salon near our college. they charge my fren 20ringgit, n 25ringgit for me...hey! i tot im the fren's galfren!! now who say long hair is good?!

n tht is when i got stuck in a stupid jam for God knows how long, causing me late for tuition @_@ how was my haircut? no one noticed, so its not hard to imagine.

25th was circus day!!! eventho the big guy keep wishing us tht everyday is circus day, but mine only lasted one day. the VIP seat was...+_= .... will blog about it soon with some pics..

26th was a boring friday, i went back to college for some photo shooting session.

there i was feeling so proud tht i was "chosen"...i regretted immediately after the 1 hour of waiting-for-nothing. only 2 freaking shots, one in the cafeteria chatting, one in the food science lab ... i forgot wat i did... poor lydia almost got caught to disect a rat hahahhaa..

27th rested at home for half day, then headed to church for christmas production practise.

this year we are trying something fresh n new, n its all prepared n baked by us! our leader is trying to train us, so tht he may pass the torch down someday. which can be understood, he's been in this ministry for years, now tht he has his family n career, its really up to us now to support him a lil, coz he's been nothing but great to the team n church. so yea my beloved frenz, care to come n support me a lil this christmas? coz ive been nothing but great to u guys!! =D

28th was church day...had a long meeting after lunch. thn had to rush back for mum's fren's birthday dinner...dont even ask y im there, i just agreed for the free n good food.

29th stayed at home until nite, had a bad argument with mum which i do not want to talk about.

30th was movie day! watched 2 movies in a row...hahaha, coz i mite not get the chance anymore when intern starts. watched 1408 n shoot 'em up. we din do any research about the movies, we just went by "instinct". hence, there were no expectations from the movies, n they blew my mind off!! lesson 1: no research, no expectations, no regrets!

heck, we stepped into the room without knowing tht 1408 was actually a horror!!
ppl who love suspense n horror, pls watch it...its really coool..i mean, scary.
i think the author of this movie played well with the psyhcological effect.
the actual room itself was not scary, it was the suspense he created at the beginning.
one minute u tot u were safe, ure WRONG!

ive heard 8tv quickie giving tickets for this movie, but i have no idea wat its about or who's in it
which doesnt really matter, coz after watching it, i still dont who are those actors
lots of actions n comedy, but smith is abit too good....y is such a great shooter unemployed n poor?
anyhooo, kinda liked it, worth my 8bucks lar...
then had some good food at KK foodcourt...hmmmm ice cream waffles!! muacks!!

31st blogging day. stayed at home to do some research for some dance moves n gettin ready for 1st day of work...@_@
kinda look forward to it, just sad tht my holiday ... well, couldnt expect too much.
oh yea, the lady from work called, tomolo is gardening day ....=_=

its so freaking clear!

2007-10-22T11:50:00.000+08:00

woke up this morning with a swallon eye.
i tot im done with it, but it hurts so bad that whenever i think of it my tears still fall
maybe its not such big a deal, or maybe it is
i am not mad, im just hurt, i guess thts even worse.

never have i seen u so excited about it, at least from the beginning, u din show much excitement at all
but until tht day, u got so excited, u quickly made phonecalls, almost immediately.
n do u still remember tht day?
it was as if im the outsider...u were literally begging him to stay...
am i that hard to be with?

after a long n stressful time of work n school...i tot u would be happy n look forward to it too!
well, my tot was wrong
do u know how bad tht hurts?
u keep on saying u dun mean it tht way
but ur actions and words have already made it so freaking clear!
its not that i dont wanna believe in wat u say
or maybe ure not even aware that u actually feel tht way
but its clear....crystal clear...
n im very very disappointed...

the feeling of not being wanted
u will never understand...

my wives

2007-10-18T10:13:00.000+08:00

i almost forgot how nice it is to just sit down and chat with you guys.

Last nite was great (sounds wrong @_@)

thank u guys for taking me away from all the assignments stress crap

n also reminding me of my priority =)

we could talk about almost everything on earth
n it just makes it so easy to talk about almost everything (we will proceed to bigger mind other time)

just because its u guys...

if it wasnt because of my stupid stupid stupid PTA assignments...i guess we would have stayed for breakie...=D

it is all this spontan crazee ideas that make things so special....thanks for being fat with me !!

have i told u guys yet?...
i love u all!!!

*for those that didnt get it, me n my wives just went to mcd spontaneously at 12midnite. n we hang until 3:55am...hehehe, thts how we missed the breakfast.

still misses u...

2007-10-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

believe it or not...NZ still pops into my head at least once in every day
everytime i think of tht place, look at the pictures...my heart just, skip a bitz...
i want to go back, i wish i could have stay...
i always wonder how far will our frenship go
n i cant help to imagine myself studying in Auckland U meeting all kinds of ppl
its good to be back...but it just wasnt time yet...

i could have been a better person over there, u know, out of my comfort zone n everything
but its just an excuse for my screwed up life now n here...

i need to be the best of me, no matter where i go...

i will go back one day...

random

2007-10-08T20:40:00.000+08:00

update update
u know im a very busy person wan u know
and im not like kennysia, i dont get to go macau n meet the grasshoppers by blogging wan u know
*unless u wanna start giving me some cash for blogging then i dont mind lar*

put a chatter box?
u mean a complain box izzit?
y? so that the whole world can see how lazy i am?!

hehehheee...
just playing, dont get offended ya gals =p
just finish subtitling 4mins of my edu video, i spent 30 freaking minutes ler!!!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaargh!!
and the mosquitos cant stop sucking my blood...
hot they come in, rain also they come in...die lar me!!

so, semester break is around the corner..
i mean, finals first lar of coz
but we should really start planning where to go hor...very important wan ar
heheheheee...
PD? pangkor?...wait, tht means i need to lose fats lor?!!....
sigh...they just stick with me like im their mother, wat to do?
or maybe malacca? or go my hometown lar plant vege!! sounds good?

btw, how come no one ask wats COKOCEENAIMA wan?!

Cokoceenaima!!!

2007-10-02T23:13:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! CokoCeeNaima?!!