梦

今早发了一个梦，一个好累人， 好紧张的梦。
我梦见你有另一个女朋友。
你走在我们俩的中间，虽然你抱的，拖的都是我，但事实是你身边不只我一个了。
你不紧张，还一副理所当然的样子。
后来，我发现，原来我们身边不只一个她。
你们都发生过关系。。。你知道我发现了，还是无动于衷，一副你爱的还是我，最大的还是我的样子， 仿佛这一切是我应当接受的。

突然，我梦醒了。
看看身边才发现，原来这一切都不是梦，正真的噩梦才开始。
我歇斯底里地哭了一场，心里很不甘心。
不甘心我这么信任你，你竟然背叛我。
不甘心我们身边的她们，每一个都是好女孩。
不甘心我这么爱你，爱得你那么痴心。。。你却不懂得珍惜。

我要找你问个明白，我真的。。。很不甘心。
就在这个时候，我醒了。闹钟还没响，我就醒了。
感觉好像没睡过一样，我还是很累。
我们一起吃早餐，把梦告诉了你，眼泪也快挤出来了。。。你只说了一句。。。
“傻傻的。。。”

我看我真的傻了，这已不是第一次了。。。
可是为什么，心理还是酸酸的。。。

Boring~

im bored
abit lonely in fact...
got a job in a beauty company near my uni
guess wat position im holding? the admin/front desk/vase...
the last time i was wroknig as an admin was back in the days when i was working for my uncle, total isolation, boredom and kuku-ness...
i should have known better...this is just not my kind of work...

what should i do? tell me..
since yesterday ive constantly asked for things to do...
but nothing came down, guess wat i did yesterday...
created 3 types of form...and erm..wait, thts it!!
today was better, i did ONE filing and made ONE phone call...
wat should i do? sit and wait or continue to annoy them by begging for things to do...
i finally understand the meaning of redundancy...i really am redundant.

everyone is upstairs, and im left alone in the reception area...
should i go up? i tried...but its so awkward...
lunch time? one gal would go out and tapao...when she came back, she said she forgot to ask me whether i want to tapao or not...=__= she was talking to me right before she went out..
dont get me wrong, the people here are nice...i guess...
maybe its me, i do have a sombong look...

y did i took this job?
apparently i would be able to learn alot of things, deal with alot of people
right, so far, ive only deal with ... nothing ... its really admin admin stuff...
i like the flexibility, pay is not high, but its convenient..
...what should i do...?
sigh...

what ive been up to

finished 2 presentations, one in BM about the movie "Aku bukan bujang" the whole presentation sucked, its not me, its the lecturer.

another one is my final project proposal, i tot i did okay

yes, still working with Digi...what?! they pay well okay, and ive been working with a bunch of really fun ppl, so i cant complain


its a month of birthdays, my high school best buds
happy birthday wern hui

celebrated tanz' bday in bangsar Delicious

can we go again? please...O_O

my cousin also my fellow emcee partner for cousin's wedding

it was a great wedding, really happy for them

mum's graduation, finally!

so proud of her

*update: still taking medication, side effects are kicking in, keep her in prayer*

*a picture taken long ago*
still crazily in love with him

screw u

Dear DiGi,

as i am writing this i am filled with resentment towards you, if not you, its the the people that are working for you; if not all, maybe just a few particular.

lets put aside the fact that ive been a faithful digi user since i was 12.

and the fact that most of my part time jobs are working for you.

ive always told my friends that i have this indescripable connection with you because until today, i still get the opportunity to work for you, and i am proud, proud of your achievement, proud to be one of your user.

but today, you've gave me the biggest disappointmet

after the first roadshow in JB, i was thrilled, ive decided, hey, not only did Digi gave us good pay, but good accomodation and cool people to work with, y not continue for the next roadshow?

so i quickly rescheduled my appointments and tuition classes

being a responsible person, i told before hand that i must miss 1 working day as i am emceeing for my cousin's wedding, and so your people said its fine. hooray.

a couple of days later, your people decided to cut cost apparently, so only SELECTED people can work for the next roadshow.

disappointed n worried, ive made my plans, nevermind, still can reschedule, i shall wait a day or two, i din put high hope, i was ready to not be selected.

all of the sudden, great news.

my place is safe, again i mentioned tht 1 day tht i cant work, n it was fine.

hooray.

then i confirmed all my schedules and appoinments.

cool.

wait, thts not the end.

i cant remember how it happened, but your beloved workers LAST MINUTE decided that all promoters MUST work for 5 days straight, missing 1 day would not be allowed.

crushed.

there goes my plans, my list of christmas presents to buy, my clearance of debts.

sigh. y.

wait, thts not all yet.

this morning i found out

missing 1 day for last minute people is fine as long as replacement is provided...

wat the F***!!!!!

i shud have told you last minute tht i cant work on sat!!

y i so responsible n tell u early early ..

maybe i am making a really big deal out of this

but i seriously hate it when people spoil my plans LAST MINUTE

driving me up and down

giving me hope n taking it away and giving and taking

just because we din sign any contract doesnt mean u can play us like this

we dun standby for you 24/7

who do you think you are anyway?

you dont know how much the money means to us

you dont know how much trouble we have to go through to reschedule our routine

just because we are promoters doesnt mean you dont need to appreciate us!!

from this day onwards

i am boycotting Digi.

thanks for nothing.

updates

thank you so much for your prayers and concern
mum's got back her report this afternoon
initially was suppose to get the report on wed
but nurse called early in morning out of the sudden
so we were unprepared...

doc has confirmed
mum's got TB
it is curable but mum's case is a little exceptional
TB usually happens in the lung, while in mum's case its in her lymph node
hence, medication may not be able to go through that area
if that is so, there will be more complications.

medications will cause mum to be weak
along with other side effects
so do continue to keep mum in prayer
thanks

my mummy

mum came back from hong kong with lots of goodies

but also a very bad news

there's a lump in her lymph node

doctor suspect it could be serious

after seeing the specialist on monday

she immediately admitted to the hospital to remove the lump on tue

"mimi, ure not afraid of death, not afraid of pain, thn y r u now so worried?"

"because im afraid i leave at the wrong time..."

ive been hanging around the hospital for the past 2 days

i havent been sleeping well since the nite mum broke the news to me

n i dont know how much tears ive shed

in front of her i seem to be emotionless, sometimes still bubbly

its because i know once i get all emotional

my tears wont stop falling...n so i faked

im not afraid tht she will die

for she will have a better life in heaven...thts for sure

but its the tot of her goin through the pain

it eats my heart up

i know it was just a small surgery

n i was paranoid

but i cant help...she's my only family.

mum stayed overnight

many came to visit, even ex colleagues from years back

mum's very blessed

because she's always been a blessing to everyone...

please do keep her in prayer, her wound got infection, really swallon

pray tht her report will come out normal next week

removing the lump does not heal her

it is for further investigation n find wat its all about

pray tht its not cancer, not TB not anything but good health.

proud of wat?

received a forwarded email today which says the below:

Therefore, I as the Head of Graduates of University of Malaya would like to advice all our fellow graduates of University of Malaya to combine forces and prepare ourselves together with all the necessary knowledge and preparation before we continue our fight in the actual battle field. This advice implies mainly to our Malay Graduates. We must treasure the sacrifices made by our ancestors which tried so hard to ensure that Tanah Melayu (Malay Land) is free from the intrusion of alien races. We must not fall into the category of those who forgets their roots until they will be taken over by other races. Graduates must prove themselves that we are capable and the best choice to take over the throne of governing the country in the future. This implies with the theme of MPMUM Progressive, Dynamic, Professional. There is nothing more important that can compared to our always-sensitive and improving Graduates. I also would like to advice all Malay Graduates to prepare ourselves in facing all sorts of unpredicted challenges that may occur in near future, relating to the rise of our fellow citizens, in particular to the non-Malay races. Don't let ourselves slack and allow our 'enemies under the blankets to attack us' (direct translation from the Malay idiom). Don't allow our Malaysia to fall into the hands of those who are irrelevant.

apparently this is a letter signed and approved by MU, attached in the mail was a picture of that letter and an enlarged version on the signature.

i dont know how true is this, because i do not believe in forwarded emails.
but looking at the circumstances and things that are happening in Malaysia
i cant help but to believe

it truly saddens me
i remember back in NZ, i always tell myself, that no matter where i am and how long i am away, i will go back to my country, to serve and to give back.
because i hold onto the believe that no one else will love me like my mother do
no country will accept me like Malaysia do
and i remember an interview not long ago, asking me what makes me proud of Malaysia.
no doubt, it was the multi cultural which makes our languages, food and life style so unique.

whenever people introduce about Malaysia
they will always mention the fact we are able to live in harmony even with the different races
but now...what has happened?
even the government has to take that one thing that makes Msia so unique
wat more can we be proud of now?