Monday, February 25, 2008

welcome to adulthood

after several attempts to blog for the past few weeks, ive finally got myself to sit down n scribble something on my quiet and miserable blog.
seeing that, you can see that im quite emotional now...
not because of my pathetic lunch of 1slice of toast bread with tuna in butter, no salt, no mayo, no cumcumber no nothing. And then with a hot cup of black coffee with no sugar, no milk, no nothing...yes, im finally on with my 3 days diet dying already, im not sure if i can continue with this next week, the week after until i finally lose these fats of mine....
no im NOT getting all emo becoz of THT...i want to slim down ok...
well, its just that...a cruel reality has finally hit me last week...
here's wat i wrote on a piece of tissue after i wet jayson's new pair of levis jeans.

now i understand when people say "its ok, you dont have to tell me, but just so u know, im good with secrets". yea, i always tot they mean wat they say, but now it sounds totally different "come one just tell me, i REALLY wanna know, then ill have a great topic for lunch today."

all my life, i never really believed in back stabbing, but i have to stop being so naive,i am 21 already u know, i have to stop telling myself that i can TRUST others.
i should have listened to them, or rather, just him, that the only person i can trust is myself...myself? really? i dont think i can, does tht mean i can trust no one ady? *great*

people wont give a damn with how u feel.
even if it's the most hurtful event that happened in your life, once they see imperfection in u, they will just turn around and laugh. Hey! whats a good joke if you cant spread to the whole wide world? it just scares me...when i realise i can no longer trust anymore...

lesson learned: keep your mouth shut! people love hot stuff, they dont really care. when they say they know how u feel, they are lying. So just keep everything to yourself until u explode and DIE!!

Q: wat do ppl gain by gossiping?
A: self-righteous.


wat i wrote above is only directed to some ppl, which i dont really know who exactly...yet.
so dont feel offensive...its something i need to get out of my chest
tht nite was just horrible, my tears fall exactly like when i "broke-ups" with jayson, i cant really describe how it feels...i guess its like when children find out that santa is just a fiction.
but i feeel grown up now... thanks to whoever you are...
ok im done =)

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